life

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I was sitting in a restaurant with my friends a few days ago, when a lady who was at the adjacent table struck up a conversation with us. She told us that she lived in Dubai, owned a bank and was also in the construction industry. The lady was barely 40 but already had a daughter and a grandchild who sat with her and smiled. Overzealous or prodigious? I'm not sure. She told us that, with the money she made, she was able to give back to society and help orphaned kids in Iran. Granted, it was a strange thing to say to people you hardly know. But remember, Persians (and this was a chello kababi) often jump right into being confidants and skip the formalities.

My friend Mehrshad then said to me, it would be so good to be rich and be able to help people like that. And it's true, people like Oprah Winfrey are able to give from their own pocket and build an entire school. These services are vital and important. However, I am very cautious about saying, 'once I have money, once I get somewhere, then I will do something'. I think that's precisely the paradigm that paralyzes so many of us. We have our jobs and lives and we make ends meet. Then separately, we have our dreams and our visions; to open a girl's school, to create a scholarship, and similar lofty dreams. We think that once we get somewhere in society and receive worldly status, we can move mountains and make a difference. But having met some amazing people in the last few years who have moved mountains by their sheer faith and action, I have changed my mind.

While it is good to give when we have, I believe we can give no matter what our situation is. For example, in one of my earlier vlogs I spoke about an organization I sometimes work with called the African Children's Choir (ACC). This organization helps orphans all over Africa. The man who founded the ACC, Ray Barnett, has never had a proper job in his whole life. He has never had a stable income, or wealth, and he's even challenged with dyslexia. Despite all his seeming shortcomings from a worldly perspective, he has been able to turn around the lives of thousands of children for the better. All he has had is a vision, faith in God that the right things will be provided and restless action. His restlessness reminds me of Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness. He just doesn't give up. Through action he has attracted funders all over the world, and inspired miracles.

For example, last year he prayed about what to do with the new orphans he had recruited. He needed a home for them. He found an old school, which no one was using. The price was low compared to other similar buildings, but still required a couple of million rand. He found a person who was rich and willing to help by lending him the sum of money without interest. However, the man wanted his money back at the end of the year. Ray had prayed about it and felt he knew that this was the right thing to do, although he had no idea how he was going to pay off the bill at the end of the year. He decided to act on faith.

Now recently, just a few weeks ago, the deadline was drawing near and Ray began praying fervently for guidance. He had felt that he had been doing the right thing by helping these orphans and he needed some divine intervention to help them retain their home.

A few days before he was due to pay his debt back, there was a knock on the door and an unsolicited, unexpected buyer appeared on the steps, offering Ray more than twice the price that he had paid for the school! Of course Ray was very excited. He sold the school, paid his debt off and used the rest of his money to buy an even better piece of land for his orphans. What a story.

I think the paradigm to look out for here, is that first we have to take the step, risk our comfort and our security, and then the blessings come. It is not the other way around. Instead, we wait in our comfort zones for wealth and security to come to us, before we are willing to take a step. I think that we can all move mountains, no matter who we are and how little we have. We just need to wake up to the fact that this life is actually governed by the rules of the spiritual world first, not the contingent world, although it often seems like the latter. (Think: The Matrix!) We just need to tap into that spiritual world and try to walk a path of faith. Then the blessings will come.

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I recently watched two films that couldn't be more opposite in their message yet both, so true. It made me realize that truth is often ostensibly a paradox, but deeply united.

One was an Iranian film by Majid Majidi and the other was an American film, called the Pursuit of Happyness (yes the 'y' is deliberate). In the Pursuit of Happyness, the main character, Will Smith, is struggling to make ends meet. His wife leaves him and he runs around as a salesman, trying to sell medical equipment in various clinics. He has a son, whom he loves above all else and for whom he wishes a better life.

On his way to a clinic one day, Will Smith passes by a huge investment company. The people who are emerging from the building look so happy and fulfilled. He stands and looks at them and wishes he were just like them. He decides to approach one of the men in suits and asks them what company this is. The man tells him it's an investment company and they are looking for people to join their internship program. If they work hard, one of them will get a job and a good salary. Will Smith makes up his mind that he will do everything to try and get into the internship program. He overcomes huge obstacles, juggling two jobs and a child, working day and night, sleeping in homeless shelters or in the subway station with his son, only to pursue the dream of a better life. Some of the scenes are so heart-wrenching it's unbearable. Now, he has the choice all along to settle for a job in a supermarket or be a security guard or find an immediate solution to his economic nightmare. However, he has decided to reach for the stars and gives up his last bit of sanity in pursuit of that one big dream. At the end of the film, which is like a roller-coaster of emotions, he gets the job. This film is based on a true story. The man this film was based on went on to being one of the wealthiest investment bankers in the world of finance. Today he helps people who were once in a similar situation to him.

The second film is about a blind man, played by Parviz Parastouie. Parastouie's character is a professor at a school for blind children and he is generally happy. He loves his wife and he has a little daughter who is the light of his life. However, he prays to God every day, asking why he was robbed of his eye-sight at a young age, why he can't see the beauty that is his life. 'Have you left me?' he asks God. One day, he feels a sharp pain in his eyes and is taken to hospital, where he finds out that he has a tumor. His frustration with life and with God grows. He is told he must fly to France for an operation, as they have the necessary equipment there. Parastouie's character flies to France. Once there, however, the operation does not only remove the tumor, it gives him his eyesight back! He is flabbergasted at the thought of seeing again. He jumps up and down, taking off his bandages. Once he opens his eyes, he takes a look in the mirror to see himself.

Yet when he sees himself, he's shocked, disappointed. The man staring back at him is an old, ugly man. This is not how he saw himself. When he flies back to Iran, he can't find his wife at the airport, as he has never seen her. He finally finds her, only to be disappointed by her looks too. In fact, his whole life, his back yard, his house, everything he had always made out to be perfect and beautiful, seems, all of a sudden uninteresting, mediocre. His anger takes over as once again, he prays to God, almost begging to take back what he had so wished for.

Now the latter movie says a lot about inner and outer values. However it is also about being happy with God's will. Knowing that God knows best what is good for us. It is about being careful what you wish for. The first film was about trying everything, giving up everything to reach for what it is you are looking for. Two very different paradigms. Both are great films and, in my opinion, express truths, which are two sides of one coin. But the question is: when do we know where our will ends and God's starts? How do we know when to cease persisting and when to keep pressing forward? What prices are we paying for that which we want? Is what we want that which God wants for us? Do we really know what is best for us? I think that is a question we all need to ask ourselves every day. Because even if we become successful at what we are setting out to do, how do we know that there wasn't something more meaningful out there that God had wanted to use us for? How do we know that fame and money will help us serve better than running a rural school somewhere in the boondocks of India? Those are the questions I ask myself every day.

As my grandma always says, 'Ask God for what is the best for you and try your best at everything that you do. Reach for the stars that you see, but be willing to recognize the hidden star when it comes your way!

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In my culture we love to talk about people. And yes, the lines of backbiting and gossip are sometimes crossed. Persians love to know who's marrying whom and who's driving what car and "did you hear, so and so just bought a new house - I wonder where they get their money from". It's amusing on one level, dangerous on another. But the outcome of all this analysis is always comparison. People compare themselves to each other. And this is certainly trans-cultural. It doesn't matter who we are, we wonder why so and so seems to get all the breaks, and we're always struggling? So much so, that the entire purpose of our life becomes to chase what we think others have and we need. Isn't it so?

Well last night I threw a little impromptu party to welcome home a friend who had come back from a trip and wanted to share her experiences and some slides. Because it was so unplanned, I didn't have enough chairs and resources to ensure that everyone was comfortable. But it was alright, people were forgiving and came in and some sat on the couch, others on some chairs, yet others sat on cushions and an 'unlucky' bunch made themselves comfortable on the floor, leaning against the wall. Those who were on couches felt uncomfortable at times and got up to offer their seats to people. But nobody seemed to care. People declined the offers and remained on the floor happily, focusing on what my friend had to say.

And that's when it hit me. We seem to busy ourselves with peripherals so much that we often miss the point. If my guests had spent the evening fighting over the cushy seats rather than sacrificing their temporary comfort, they would have missed the whole point of the presentation. And that is life: we get so caught up in what is transient, that we miss the eternal. We might not all have couches we sit in, but this life is like "sands in an hourglass" to quote an intelligent source. :-) And we have to focus on what's substantial, so we don't miss the point of the show.

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Growing up in the cushy lap of comfort in Austria, I never thought I'd ever land in Africa - the continent of "problems!" My life eventually took me to Los Angeles, where my husband and I joined the ranks of budding young talent. Ever seen the TV series "Entourage"? That's the sort of life we were engrossed in. Stooped in hype, sweet-talk, and most of all ego. Life was one big conspiracy to uplift us and we were so "it". Sure, we were going to "give back" once we were there at the top. After all, there's so much you can do for the world with money and fame! Just look at all our role models in Hollywood.

I'm not sure what happened next, but it was a lot like Keanu Reeves's experience in The Matrix. We were in the middle of living it up, defining ourselves by the life we led, when someone intervened and woke us up. It was a dear friend, who bought us tickets to come and visit him and his family in South Africa. When we got there, intending to enjoy a holiday of fun and luxury, things started disintegrating. The program that had kept us enslaved began showing its cracks and we embarked on a spiritual detox.

In the three weeks that we spent in South Africa, going on tours of the townships, meeting real people with real concerns and spending time to meditate and pray, we realized that our life thus far had been one big illusion - a matrix. It was a scary recognition, because it meant we had a choice and choices are frightening. Red pill we'd go back to sleep and continue with our self-centered lives in LA or blue, we'd make a change and shift the focus onto serving mankind.

But even if we decided to change our lives, even if we decided to move to Africa - how would we go about it? Where would we get visas? Jobs? A home? We were already burdened with our American credit-card life-style which enables you live on more than you have. How could we take such an irrational step? And what would all the Ari Goldbergs of Tinseltown say?

Our friend spoke of "confirmation". In his compassionate wisdom he asked us to take steps of faith, much like Keanu did when he jumped from building to building. Believe it and you can achieve it. We did. And little by little, the path opened up and we walked along it, never seeing far ahead, but trusting that we would get there.

Life can be so scary and insecure at times. But this experience has taught us to trust in God. In the Baha'i writings Africa is referred to as "the pupil of the eye of humanity" - it is that focal point, through which we can form a perspective. And that is what it has done for us. The Ari Goldbergs of this world wrote us off as nut cases for a while, but that's alright. For in the little things we've been able to do here, lie all the treasures of joy we could have ever imagined. And we've been able to grow and do bigger and better things than we'd ever have imagined for ourselves.